There is this hypothesis called Occam’s Razor. It goes something like … the simplest explanation is the most probable. Or maybe in the words of Theodore Woodward, the guy who cured typhoid fever, “When you hear hoof beats, think of horses and not zebras”.
Well, the hoofbeat I am hearing today is that of an overwhelming societal sickness that is eating our brains. That societal sickness is social media. It creeps up on us slowly and eventually consumes our every waking hour. The first realization of the advancement of this sickness occurred when my cell phone started telling me the number of hours, minutes, and seconds that I was spending in the form of screen time. This number has been creeping up for months. The main culprits, at least for me, are news apps and Facebook. The worst part of the whole thing is that these wounds are completely self inflicted. After all, twas I that installed this shit on my phone. So now I suffer on at the hands of me.
I has met the enemy and he is us.
Now when I first got a cell phone, it was a convenient tool to keep in contact with my pals and business associates. Then came the apps. Then came the weaponization of the apps. Now we read that the weaponization of the apps was used for nefarious purposes, including world domination. Well, enough is enough. I have had all I can stands and I can’s stands no more. I am on a mission from God hisself to wean myself from the machine world. The only way is to rip it off like a band aid, or in my case, rip it off like a strip of duct tape across my hairy balls.
I start today with the goal of nuking the most significant time waster from my life by deleting the Facebook app off of my mobile devices. I’ve deleted a couple of pages that I owned and will soon delete my Facebook account. I feel better just writing this shit down, kinda like a giant carbuncle is being lanced on my butt. Stay tuned for more, as I have decided to spend more time writing these inane missives for the enlightenment of the masses.
Signed
The Soon to be Free Me
