Back when I was a young lad, maybe 50+ years ago, I was a huge Kurt Vonnegut fan. I had read the majority of his novels at the time. You know, Cat’s Cradle, Breakfast of Champions, Sirens of Titan, Player Piano, yada yada yada. I’d often discuss the novels with Sarah Grabowski, one of my […]
The Letter and the Envelope Read More »
Recently, my beloved cat, Bootsy Collins, had to be put down due to a long stream of ailments that I don’t care to list. The veterinarian and a technician came to my place and I held Bootsy while he was put to rest. I am still haunted by the imagined look of betrayal in his
Bubye to Bootsy Collins Read More »
Some day, in a galaxy far far away, someone or something will discover my blog, read it, and comment something like “Holy shit, whoever wrote this fucking thing is a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. He must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. He is goddamn gifted”
I Am God Damn Gifted Read More »
What would it be like if puddy tats ruled the world? I can’t say for certain, but I can hazard an educated guess based on my own resident despot: Bootsy Collins, a ten-year-old tuxedo cat who, like his namesake, walks with funk but governs with iron (and fur-covered) paws. He is the template for our future
When Cats Rule the World: A Warning from Bootsy the Tuxedo Tyrant Read More »
One of my lifelong dreams—besides not forgetting why I walked into a room—is to drive the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Yes, that 27-foot rolling meat torpedo of joy. That iconic American sausage-shaped chariot. The Holy Grill of roadside novelty vehicles. I’ve whispered this dream to friends, family, and the occasional DMV clerk. And to my surprise, no one laughed.
Wienermobile Envy in the Corporate World Read More »
When I was in junior high school, attending that pinnacle of acedemic research, knowledge, teenage angst, and middle school Lord of the Flies-esque culture, I happened upon a most cherished cassette tape. I would load that tape into my rudimentary1970s vintage boom box and allow my mind to drift and meditate upon all things that
Simple Simon Met a Pie Man Read More »
Firecrackers were THE most illegal and at the same time most sought after item in our neighborhood. The only drugs we knew of were aspirin and cod liver oil. No local hood was gonna ‘bust a cap in yo haid’ to steal your dope, they would much prefer to kick your ass and take your
Look!! Firecrackers!! Read More »
Ya know, sometimes you can spend a lot of time in contemplation, only to later discover that what you were contemplating never really existed. I know, I know, this sounds like a zen riddle. The sound of one hand clapping, unheard trees dropping in the forest, why is man born to suffer and die, who
Wasted Malaise and Wasted Fights Read More »
After a nice Easter dinner at my daughter’s house surrounded by screaming grandkids and opinionated in-laws, Gail and I decided to head off for a short hike at Moccasin Kill. The trail started out with a crooked sideways bridge across a sketchy looking creek, through some mud filled squishy stream crossings. What was thought to
It’s an Easter Miracle Read More »
50+ years have passed since I and my gang visited The Flume, a water filed Nirvana and fishing spot that we all relished. I still vaguely remembered the approximate location of the entrance, so today, I decided that I would relive the glories of my youth. After a lunch with my brother and my son,
The Post Apocalyptic Landscape, Once Known as “The Flume” Read More »