I Yam Wut I Yam

Every school day morning at 6:30 AM sharp, a cornucopia of video eye candy flashed across our little black and white television.  For about 30 minutes we got to watch a couple of Popeyes and a Three Stooges episode or two, whilst we sucked down some dipper eggs, toast, bacon, and juice from a plate that was seated majestically atop an aluminum TV tray. Before we start, a few definitions are in order.

“Dipper eggs” are what we called eggs over easy, because we would dip our toast in the gooey yolks.  One would think that my cholesterol would be 547 and that the continuation of our family line would be in deep jeopardy, as we all had a “heart attack special” every morning that I can remember.  My theory is that the whole “eggs and bacon are bad” propaganda was created by an anti eggs and bacon lobbying group with a secret and sinister agenda.

There is some question as to when the Aluminum TV tray was invented.  Was it before or after the invention of the TV dinner?  Did someone maybe invent the tray, so that we could have dipper eggs whilst watching Scooby Doo?  And then someone later said “Hey I know what we can use that thing for!” I dunno, but I can say that the TV tray was indeed a marvelous invention that had plethora of uses. As a side note, the Swanson TV Dinner was invented by Gerry Thomas in 1954. In the first year of production over 25 million were sold.

So back to Popeye and the Stooges.  The premise of these shows were as different as night and day.  Popeye was a love sick sailor that was constantly battling his arch enemy Bluto for the affections of a scrawny chick with a big nose and bad hair named Olive Oyl.  The Stooges were three imbecile stumble bums that attempted to be successful at everything from plumbing to being the dictatorial leaders of Moronika (Moronika for Morons!!). Moe was the head imbecile and ran the show, whilst Curly and Larry found ways to irritate the crap out of Moe. Curly later had a stroke and was replaced by Shemp. Many do not like or understand Shemp, but I can say without hesitation that Shemp was indeed a gifted performer.

I am not sure how Popeye and the Stooges became linked. I am sure that Popeye could have kicked Moe’s ass, after downing a can of spinach of course – yowbum yowbum yowbum. These shows had a great impact on my life, and would later be directly linked to many great scholastic and business successes. Ack ack ack ack, well blow me down, and nyuck nyuck nyuck!

All content copyright of Christopher Hammond