OK, it is time to fess up. I realize it has been approximately fifty five years from that fateful day, but I feel a great need to get it all off of my chest. Officer, I don’t know why I did it! I just had this crazy mad need for famosity and prizes.
It all started when one of the Pavlus boys were to have their birthday party. I think it might have been Mark’s 7th or Gary’s 6th, I dunno. It was all organized by their mother. Missus Pavlus was a 7 foot tall statuesque woman and the most intimidating parent on the block. At least that is the way I remember her. About three years later, she would also prove to have Hulk-like strength, when she picked me up by the knap of my neck, whilst I was engaged in fisticuffs with one the Pavlus boys. That is another tale that I shall reveal in a future episode, as it was to change the course of all humanity.
So all of the neighborhood boys were in attendance at the aforementioned birthday party. We all brought our gifts, although we generally had no idea as to the contents of the gift boxes. This was due to the fact that all of the gifts were purchased by our parents from the Family Bargain Center, and gift wrapped in some sort of secret ceremony, attended only by parents.
As far as the kids were concerned, we really did not give a small crap what sort of present was in the gift box. What we really cared about were the prizes we could win and the cake we could eat. The single game that I remember was Pin the Tail on the Donkey. The reason I remember this game is that I won the prize as I pinned it dead center on the donkey’s ass. I do not remember the prize, but I do remember the fame and glory that I received by accomplishing this magnificent achievement. I seem to remember getting carried around on the shoulders of all of the kids with loud HUZZAH’s being shouted. There may have also been a ticker tape parade.
If that was all there was to it, I probably would not be telling this tale. Instead, I must confess that, as the blindfold was being placed over my eyes, it did not completely occlude my vision. By angling my head just a bit, I could clearly see the donkey’s ass. I did not raise my hand and say “Excuse me Missus Pavlus, I can see the donkey’s ass, so please tighten that blindfold up and see if you can cut off the circulation to my scalp”. Instead I staggered forward and nailed the ass of the ass.
So why confess this now you ask. Why should I give a crap about who knows what with regard to my state of grace? I have no idea, it just came into my memory and I felt a need to reveal it. I feel better!! Confession is good for the soul. Who knows, one of those other kids might have been eaten up with jealousy for the last four decades. Whoever you are, because I don’t remember who was in attendance, I beg your forgiveness.
