I had a nightmare that I was DJT. In my dream, I was making a speech before a massive audience of adoring fans. I woke with a start and had to write it down before I forgot.
My fellow Americans, I was wrong about the Reflecting Pool. It turns out it was just shoddy work by the contractor and I apologize to David Hearn for the embarrassment and inconvenience it caused him. I’m also sorry about the tarp still hanging outside the Kennedy Center, but my ego just can’t let this one go. Also, when it comes to Iran, the economy and everything else going on, I take full responsibility. I staffed my Cabinet with men and women whose only qualification was ‘total loyalty to me.’ In retrospect, maybe “experience” should have been listed on their job applications. Making all these ‘decisions’ on my own makes me very sleepy.
What could have triggered this fever dream? My mind rolled back to events that had occurred on the previous day. Cue the flashback sequence soundtrack …
Yesterday, I played 9 holes of golf with my brother and a couple of childhood friends. My brother and one of the friends are both ass deep in MAGA and Fox News conspiracy theories. After a few frosty lagers at the 19th hole, we got into an argument in the bar about various pseudo facts they were pulling out of their asses about the election, voting, Obama being gay (hadn’t heard that one before), and Michelle Obama being a man. I left mid argument and have decided to distance myself from them for the foreseeable future.
So why, in the age of Let Them, did I let them get under my skin? Alcohol? Brotherly animosity? Or was there an irritating grain of truth in the seemingly endless list of made up facts and numbers? I have discovered that when someone is cornered in the midst of the made up numbers, they tend to double down and shout all the more vociferously that they are indeed correct. Donald J is the absolute master of this technique and lays it before us all on a daily basis.
I must commend my associates for so eloquently imitating the master, for as we all know, imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.
