i regularly golf with a group of older, extremely white, extraordinarily right leaning dudes. They regularly engage in mildly offensive (to me anyways) discussions about the intrusions of societal change into their entitled lilly white world. I mostly ignore these discussions, as I have adopted aspects of the “Let Them Theory” espoused by Mel Robbins. A short side discussion on this theory deserves some special mention.
The theory has two guiding principles that, at least to me, make a shit load of sense. Let other people be themselves, make mistakes, or disagree with me without trying to fix, manage, or change them. Let me shift my focus back to what I can control, which includes my own choices, reactions, and boundaries. I know, I know, this sounds like the AA serenity prayer, and it probably was influenced by that. But I think that these are general principles for life whether you be a drunken asshole or a golfer with right wing nuts as members of your foursome.
Today after a soggy round of golf on one of the most beautiful municipal courses in upstate New York, we headed in for a heart seizing lunch of hot dogs, hamburgers, and quesadillas. Discussions abounded about good and bad shots, before taking a dark turn down the road of perceived social engineering, black lives mattering, activist judges, and encroachments into upper class lily white lifestyle and convenience.
My conclusion? There is nothing more difficult to listen to than a group of aging and entitled white golfers whining about homeless people being called unhoused by the woke liberal gubment in upstate NY while they gobble down chicken bacon ranch quesadillas washed down with large glasses of Arnold Palmers. And yet I did just that. There is nothing I could have said or done to change a viewpoint of reality that has been hardened by group think and echo chamber repeats of what is already believed to be true, whether it is or is not really true. Empathy for your fellow man be damned. So, I said nothing, did not engage, and “Let Them”. This allowed me to “Let Me” write this pithy and moderately thoughtful blog post on the state of humanity.
I end this discussion with a quote that often echoes through the canyons of my mind when I hear discussions like the one outlined above. Simon and Garfunkel has been a balm to my soul throughout my relatively long life. So I’m compelled to share this simple truth.
”A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest”
