Short, tall, true, and semi true tales about a young boy growing up in upstate New York.
The only pizza place in town was a little take out joint called Gloria’s Pizza. The pizza that was produced here was to be the standard by which all other pizzas would be judged. It was the benchmark, baseline, and foundation against which all future pizza makers would be compared. My memory is not perfect, […]
I don’t see anyone flying them anymore, kites that is. The most probable reason is that we are all obsessed with sitting around on our fat arses, living vicarious lives on sundry electronic gadgets. You may doubt my conclusions, so let us assess the data. From 1940 to about 1980 there were around ten or
Go Fly a Kite, Would Ya? Read More »
Nothing is more traumatic for a kid than losing a pet that he loved. I will herein attempt to recount just such an event in the creator’s life, with a few side trails down the path of psychoanalyzing the American teenager’s brain pan. This is the story of a black and brown mongrel mutt that
The Short and Eventful Life of Scamp Read More »
Back in the 70’s, kids were allowed to engage in all sorts of pyrotechnical activities with no supervision and with little or no repercussion. We could walk into any hobby store and buy Estes rocket engines, various flammable liquids, dynamite fuse, and Testors glue. No one asked us if we were 18 or 21. No
Now I am Become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds Read More »
A cool nickname! That’s what we all wanted. In my neighborhood, we had Stringbean, The Big Shoe, King Phlegm, Ollie, The Great Luigi, Melvin, Duck, Monty, Punkinhead, and Booger Flansberg. There were probably many more, but my memory ain’t what it used to be. In this installment, I shall recount the eventful life of one
The Ballad of Booger Flansberg Read More »
I dunno why, but bats were greatly feared by every kid, and most adults. Probably one too many Dracula movies, or possibly it was that goofy Dark Shadows show that seemed to be all the rage at the time. Our greatest fear was that the bats would land in our hair and bite us, resulting
Yer Drivin Me Batty Read More »
Every school day morning at 6:30 AM sharp, a cornucopia of video eye candy flashed across our little black and white television. For about 30 minutes we got to watch a couple of Popeyes and a Three Stooges episode or two, whilst we sucked down some dipper eggs, toast, bacon, and juice from a plate
Mister DeLilli was the greatest teacher that ever lived. He was our 6th grade teacher and, I am sure, made an everlasting impression on every kid that ever walked through the door to his classroom. I must herein confess to an event that, although Mister DeLilli probably does not recollect the details, was to scar
Wake Up and Smell DeLilli’s Read More »
Can a dog be mentally ill? I don’t know, but I can say that there was a dog in our neighborhood that would have made a great clinical study. The dog belonged to the Locatelli family and thus was given the unfortunate name of “Locky”. I will herein attempt to walk through a study of
Grover Valentine was the second wisest man that ever lived. I know this for certain, because Solomon asked God for a discerning heart to distinguish between right and wrong. God answered and said “I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be”. So since
