Feets Don’t Fail Me Now

Recently I have been having a lot of pain in my left foot. I have not a wit of a clue why this is as I am not overweight, try to eat healthy, and regularly exercise. I do spend a lot of time on my ass during working hours, so perhaps that is a clue. Unfortunately, this has seriously impinged upon the much anticipated golfing season. Thank God it is raining today, otherwise depression would set in. A new set of golf shoes were purchased at the beginning of the season, which seemed to aggravate things.

So all of this “footsy footsy” talk, has me thinking today about feet and their role in society. I mean think about alll of the time we spend focused on our feet or ignoring the fact that, without them, we would be waddling in the muck like our primordial ancestors.

There are shoe commercials for virtuallly every form of foot wear to cover every type of human activity. Entire companies are devoted to the design and sale of shoes. We send our feet to the spa for pedicures, foot massage, reflexology, and waxing. We go to podiatrists for ingrown toenails, bunions, blisters, Morton’s neuromas, plantar fasciitis, and hammer toes. There are shoes for running, walking, standing, scuba diving, and mountain climbing. Humankind has spent a lot of time worrying about, covering, and medically treating their feet. We even have the “Blade Runner” with his bionically enhanced feet.

And the metaphors man, the MET-A-PHORS!! You can walk in another man’s shoes, using some fancy foot work. You can be footloose and fancy free whilst standing on your own two feet. Put your foot down and follow in your father’s footsteps. Sheesh, you can even wait on someone hand and foot and live on a shoestring budget.

So now I am worried. Could it be some horrible debilitating foot disease that I have that will hobble me for the rest of my life? What if I have foot cancer? Is a Hoveround in my future??

Find out in the next episode of “The Foot from Hell”.

All content copyright of Christopher Hammond