Just yesterday I was reading a scientific article about the “multiverse”. Yes it’s a real, or possibly imaginary thing. Obviously this all needs some ‘splainin, and I do believe that I am THE most qualified person, that is writing this blog, and talking to you, to perform the aforementioned ‘splainin. First let’s talk about the […]
Dream a Little Dream of Me Read More »
So there I am at the top of Crescendoe Road Hill parked on the seat of my green Schwinn Banana Bike. Yes I do date myself don’t I. Next to me is John Luft, seated atop his equally mighty banana bike. For those of you who have not a friggin’ clue as to what a
Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On Read More »
Every neighborhood has a cast of characters. Strangely, certain events get tied to a person and they are forever remembered for some small character flaw or inane statement that they might have made. That’s probably how serial killers get their nicknames. In my neighborhood there was this feller named Tim Vose, whose nickname was King
Just t’other day whilst sitting in the sauna at the YMCA, the topic of jury duty came up amongst the amalgam of old bastards sweating and farting on the wooden benches. Says one fellow – “I just throw the damn things in the garbage. Been doing it for years with no repercussions.” Another pipes up
My (and your) Civic Duty Read More »
I yam not the grammar or spelling police, but some things just drive me to drink, not that I need a reason. What are these things, you ask? Mispronouncing common words is one of these “things”. “Supposably” is one word that makes me physically ill. Another is “Libary”. The first thought that comes to mind
You’re Supposably Going to the Libary ? Read More »
Now I am not saying that my brother is in any way physically flimsy, so let’s get that straight right up front. It is just that, when you are a kid, a couple of years difference is huge. Not so much as you get older, more on that later. So there was this time, when
I Want to Ride My Bicycle Read More »
Today, as I was listening to that bastion of liberal thought (NPR), it occurred to me that the decline of civilization can be linked to a single series of events. Possibly, it could be just one event, perpetuated by one man, that caused the cascade to commence. The man is Wolf Blitzer. On my wildest
Wolf Blitzer and the Decline of Civilization Read More »
I’ve recently started attending a (mostly) monthly meeting of old friends for breakfast. We have named this “club” the Crusty Old Bastards (COB). There are no requirements for membership other than being old, crusty, possessing questionable bathing habits, and having a hail and hearty appetite for alcohol. How did it all start? Origin stories are
The Crusty Old Bastards Club Read More »
Ya gotta jump down, turn around, and pick a bale of weed. You know, when you are little, immortality is an assumed state. Such is the case with the creator as a young boy. We used to climb up to the very peak of the garage roof, and leap into the snow bank some 20
I am not a crook or a trouble maker for that matter. Some event occurred in second grade to which the details are not entirely clear. It may have been note passing, note reading, booger picking, booger sticking, or any number of offenses punishable by having your pee pee whacked. The end result was a
