Just t’other day whilst sitting in the sauna at the YMCA, the topic of jury duty came up amongst the amalgam of old bastards sweating and farting on the wooden benches. Says one fellow – “I just throw the damn things in the garbage. Been doing it for years with no repercussions.” Another pipes up […]
My (and your) Civic Duty Read More »
I yam not the grammar or spelling police, but some things just drive me to drink, not that I need a reason. What are these things, you ask? Mispronouncing common words is one of these “things”. “Supposably” is one word that makes me physically ill. Another is “Libary”. The first thought that comes to mind
You’re Supposably Going to the Libary ? Read More »
Now I am not saying that my brother is in any way physically flimsy, so let’s get that straight right up front. It is just that, when you are a kid, a couple of years difference is huge. Not so much as you get older, more on that later. So there was this time, when
I Want to Ride My Bicycle Read More »
Today, as I was listening to that bastion of liberal thought (NPR), it occurred to me that the decline of civilization can be linked to a single series of events. Possibly, it could be just one event, perpetuated by one man, that caused the cascade to commence. The man is Wolf Blitzer. On my wildest
Wolf Blitzer and the Decline of Civilization Read More »
I’ve recently started attending a (mostly) monthly meeting of old friends for breakfast. We have named this “club” the Crusty Old Bastards (COB). There are no requirements for membership other than being old, crusty, possessing questionable bathing habits, and having a hail and hearty appetite for alcohol. How did it all start? Origin stories are
The Crusty Old Bastards Club Read More »
Ya gotta jump down, turn around, and pick a bale of weed. You know, when you are little, immortality is an assumed state. Such is the case with the creator as a young boy. We used to climb up to the very peak of the garage roof, and leap into the snow bank some 20
I am not a crook or a trouble maker for that matter. Some event occurred in second grade to which the details are not entirely clear. It may have been note passing, note reading, booger picking, booger sticking, or any number of offenses punishable by having your pee pee whacked. The end result was a
Other remembrances beyond that fitful fateful day are not rememberable by me. The next thing I do remember happened a number of years later. The events are quite jumbled but I will try to recall it as accurately as I can for the anxious listeners out there in the electron fog. I remember sitting on
Come and Listen to a Story About a Kid and a Shed Read More »
Now it will be revealed. The real truth, often hidden from most kids, but now exposed. Rats is quite dangerous critters. In fact if one bites you, there are exactly 60 seconds before you succumb to the tortuous, agonizing death of RABIES!! This was one of the facts we had to deal with as kids
Rats, Rats, Lay Down Flat Read More »
I say stuff, sometimes. And sometimes that stuff is offensive to some people, mostly because I have entered old age and am slowly becoming oblivious to the sensitivities of others. For example, I could make a joke about millennials and their obsession with their mobile devices. If you happened to be a young person that
Sometimes, I Say Stuff Read More »
